Not-So-Secret Admirer

Field Marks: Adoring, borderline creepy gaze
Where Found: Divorce court

We met and dated at the encouragement of my close family members. He was continuously "smitten" with my "incredible beauty" and stared at me over the dinner table EVERY NIGHT until I gained a piteous 40 extra lbs! He made every suggestion in creation that we "couple" up for the long haul, but I resisted, as I was spooked by his frequent 'disappearing' act to places unknown - only to have him call and say he missed his "baby"...I guess that was me? He finally departed, after having met his true love: 20 years his junior, pony tail, googoo-eyed over him, really in love, etc. They married, divorced a year later, and she is sitting pretty (did I mention that he is wealthy, despite sharing the fortune?) and now he is calling me. Surprise!